This one is new ....

This is something I've noticed about 4x's now with Danielle and I'm beginning to wonder if this is going to be how she handles "this" when it happens.

Let me explain (sorry if I'm all over the board here, I apologize).

I hope this makes some sense ....

First incident:

A Saturday morning - both kids have swimming lessons at the Y. Their lessons begin at 10:40 a.m. (approx. 2 hrs after that breakfast shot) so the timing somewhat stinks - but what can you do? Anyhow, this one particular Saturday, we tested Danielle before we left for the pool and she was in the 6's. A decent number, but if I remember correctly, she had eaten a late breakfast and that fast acting insulin had only been in her system for an hour - hour and a half. It was going full speed. A number in the 6's (which is fantastic) is NOT good when you've got insulin on board knocking that number down, PLUS, when there is a physical activity planned, it's a double whammy.

So, I gave her some fruit snacks (about 20 g of carbs) to see where that would take her.

I shake my head at this because the amount of insulin I gave her for breakfast is what I would have given her any other day for what she had eaten. WHY it was hitting her hard that day - I don't know. This happens to her more often than I like to admit - which makes that freakin' insulin:carb ratio thing a real challenge.

Anyhow, we get to the Y, and just before she starts her class - I test her again. STILL in the 6's. No movement what-so-ever.

Oh freakin' fantastic is what I'm thinking. So, I give her half a juice box and send her on her way.

She swims for 1/2 hr (I'm right there sitting on a bench beside the pool). She's having fun - working hard, swimming her little heart out. As soon as she gets out and sits beside me (her sister swims 10 minutes longer than her), she looks pale and looks like she's about to vomit.

I check her again - she's a decent number (in the 7's I believe) but will be dropping because of all the physical activity she just did (it hits her for about 2-3 hrs after she's done it). She tells me she doesn't feel well at all and quite frankly, the kid looked like death warmed over. I took her quickly back into the change room and got her dressed. I kept asking her if she wanted to have a drink, but she refused (which makes sense if you feel like puking, you don't want to eat or drink anything).

Brooke came into the change room shortly after and I got her quickly dressed and we sped home. How that kid didn't puke all over the floor in the change room is nothing short of a miracle. She was gagging and everything. I thought maybe she was coming down with a puke virus or something - but nope, it apparently wasn't.

We got her home and she layed on the couch for about an hour or so after and eventually sipped on some juice - I kept testing her to make sure she didn't crash. By mid afternoon she was ready for lunch (which totally screwed everything up).

Then, it happened 2 more times - but on different occasions. Same background story though - the insulin hit her hard, we were "feeding" the insulin to avoid a crash - even though the numbers stayed relatively OK, she felt like complete crap and was on the verge of throwing up.

It's one of those things where you think "well, the numbers aren't telling us everything here". There's apparently a lot going on inside her body that's affecting her as we fight to stave off that low, and it makes her feel like shit.

My poor little fart. I wish I could make this go away. I feel guilty because then I beat myself up over the fact that I've apparently given her too much insulin - but the kid is so damned sensitive to it some days I just don't know what to do anymore. She was at a birthday party when this happened on one of the occasions. A day when I'd let things slip up a bit more as far as what she can eat (i.e. potato chips and a cupcake). She was 11.2 before eating the junk food. Honest to God all I gave that kid was 1/2 unit of fast acting insulin and we had to fight off a freakin' low. WTF???? Some days I just can't figure it out (and yes, I realize that it's always going to be like that) but FUUUUUUCK! She wasn't even running around all that much either .... maybe it was excitement? Who the hell knows .... all I know is that when it does happen - my kid feels like poo.

*sigh*

One for the books I guess. I'll talk to her doc and educator about it and get their take on it. Not that there's really anything that can be done I suppose. I try my freakin' hardest to avoid these things from happening, but I just never know when her body is going to react in this manner.

Bah!

Sugar boy.

Brooke started taking violin lessons this year (well, starting in September).

She goes to a place in town that sells musical instruments and upstairs in this building they hold music lessons for various instruments. It's a weird set up - the lessons are held in the evenings, but the store is closed in the evenings, so you have to go through the side door which is located behind a 7-eleven store. You're always a little nervous going behind there on dark nights .... it's a little creepy.

Anyhow, you go in the door, and there's this narrow stairway you go up and at the top you hang a right which has a tiny sitting room for parents, then expands into two hallways. Down these hallways are a series of coloured doors with little windows in them. Each has a sign hanging off of them "Carole - VIOLIN" , "John - DRUMS", "Greg - GUITAR", etc. And in each room you hear various musical sounds coming from them - strings, piano, kids singing, the beat of drums - you name it.

Each week we take Brooke to her lesson and sit outside for 1/2 hour as she goes into "Carole - VIOLIN" 's room (the green door), and you can hear her amateur attacks on the violin as she tries her hardest to imitate her teacher.

Most of the classes run on the hour/half hour - except the violin classes. They run example - 7:15-7:45 .... so those kids are always coming in and out in between the other kids who are coming and going on the hour and half hour.

One week a friend of mine was in from out of town to visit us - I took Brooke to violin and N came with us to sit with me to keep me company. As we were sitting there, a new crop of kids were starting to show up in the middle of my kids lesson for their lessons. There is one kid, in particular, who always is entertaining to watch. I'm not sure what his name is, but he's a little blonde boy who plays the guitar.

Every week he gets dropped off by his parents (he must be about 10 yrs old), he comes upstairs, plops down (he's always quite early), then looks at his watch. Then he grabs his coat, his shoes and heads out to the 7-eleven with a wad of money, and comes back with gobs of candy.

My friend and I were watching this candy kid ..... this particular day, he had in his hands about 5 packs of skittles - and tore into about 3 of them before his lesson started.

Another week he came back with assorted gums, hard candies, skittles (these seem to be his fav) and chocolate bars, and tore into about 1/2 of them before going in for his lesson.

He's kind of funny to watch. He's not shy about how much candy he's just bought - or how much he's going to eat either - he downs as much as he can before his lesson starts.

Recently my husband has started taking Brooke to her lessons.

I asked him about the sugar boy. Is he still going? Does he still make his weekly trips to the 7-eleven.

He started laughing. Apparently he's still going strong.

Being the parent of a kid with type 1 diabetes, I'm always *gasp* "Look at how many carbs that kid is eating!!!!" - but then I have to snap out of it ... the rest of the world doesn't live like us (only the diabetics do) - then it's kind of funny.

I guess I kind of hope that one day my kid can do that one day too. Albeit, I wouldn't let her do it on a regular basis like this kid - but on Halloween ?? Hell yeah.

@%#$'ing Tickets!

So, we heard the Jonas Brothers are coming to Winnipeg in July for a concert.

"Hey! Wouldn't getting a couple of tickets to raffle off at the walk bring in a lot of cash? After all, Nick Jonas has Type 1 - I bet this would be awesome - we could really bring in a lot of people and awareness advertising a couple of tix up for grabs!"

And, so it went .....

M and I obsessed about it.

I had just finished reading the book "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch. If you haven't read it, I suggest reading it - or watching his actual "Last Lecture" on YouTube. (I'd link all this, but I'm too lazy, really). In it, he discusses that in life, you hit "brick walls" - and that these brick walls are put there for a reason - to filtre out the people who really want things badly, and those who don't.

Well, we wanted to get our hands on some Jonas Brothers tickets badly. I think some of my committee members thought I was nuts - but M and I were obsessed with getting our hands on some. (Frankly, I don't give two shits about them - just looking at the big picture though).

So coming from the mouth of a dying man - and the brick walls - and getting what you want in life if you try hard enough (don't give up and all that shit) - we were persistant.

I had a good friends brother searching for some for me in Winnipeg. I contacted a newspaper in Winnipeg as well as the local radio station - PLEADING for help (with NO response - damn them!). The Winnipeg newspaper suggested I find out who is sponsoring the event - yet no one would tell me who that was. The JDRF office in Winnipeg already had their tickets that they are raffling off at their gala next month (yes, the one I'm wearing the dress to) and couldn't do much more than that.

What I wanted was something for us - before the tickets went on sale to the general public on Saturday (we'd have no chance, then). Then we heard MTS employees already had their hands on some (WTF??) - why don't I know any MTS employees? None of us on the committee do (crap!) .... turns out they had VIP Jonas Brothers access from the fan site (MTS became a fan - this costs a fee - we didn't want to pay it). Sooooo, while all of this is going on, I'm getting to the point of giving up (even though I really didn't want to, but I felt like no one wanted to help us and that we were going in circles that were leading to nowhere).

Then, one of M's clients said she was getting pre-sale tickets (today) - we would have to buy them, but did we want a couple of them as well??

We discussed ..... $100/ticket - I guess we could get two *sigh* (was looking more for a donation, but whatever). So we said yes.

Then at 7:50 a.m. this morning I get a call from M - her client says she can only buy a max of two tickets - sorry, can't help us. Turns out, the tickets are on sale to American Express card holders only. M doesn't have one of these cards - doesn't know anyone else who uses one - we're hooped.

But then I had a thought ..... "Do WE have one?? I think we do ... we never use it, I think we have it for back up emergencies, but I think we might..." (a lot of help that might do me in an emergency when I'm not even sure if I hold one of these cards ...)

Turns out, low and behold, Vince and I do own Amex cards.

So, I go to the ticketmaster site - see that they go on sale at 10 a.m. and that there is NO max order of 2 tix (her friend was bullshitting her) - you could get a max of 8 tix). Whatever.

So, at 10 a.m. - I went online and tried to get two floor seat tickets .... it kept rejecting me.

FUUUUUCK.

Now what?

I try again at that price - instead I get one row up. Oh, what the hell ever - just give me the stinkin' tickets! So, I got them.

I have two Jonas Brothers tickets being sent to my house (and I don't even want them).

I tell you, after all that, I despise the Jonas Brothers. But, I have two fucking tickets to their show, and that's all that matters - right??

And, as it turns out - Vince's boss might "purchase" them from us to donate to the walk .... so, we might not be out that money in the end anyway.

Frikkin' Jonas Brothers ........

Money well spent?

Next month two girlfriends and myself are heading into Winnipeg for a night.

We're all attending a fundraising event for the JDRF and it's a gala.

We're all quite excited about this - it's a pretty swanky affair. Black tie, fabulous meal, drinks, dancing and two live auctions and a silent auction - all fundraising for a cure. It's a big thing.

I missed something in that paragraph though. After "black tie" should be "evening gowns".

Oh - evening gowns .... evening gowns, evening gowns - who knew those two words could evoke such stress! Me? Shop for an evening gown (let alone WEAR an evening gown)?? Someone who lives to wear cotton? Stretchy, comfy cotton?

Did I mention I am fashion-challenged as well? (well, I am)

So, after purchasing our tickets to this event (which weren't cheap either), and the excitement wore off a bit - the realization set in that "SHIT, we have to find something to wear to this thing!"

I have a month. Or should I say - I had a month.

You see, I have found something - after ordering a few things from Sears *choke, choke* (you get what I mean when I say I am challenged in the fashion department??) - I sent them back figuring they were not appropriate (and they didn't fit right either). I asked around and was directed to go to the local Bridal shops. They sell prom dresses and evening gowns as well.

Why I never figured this out is a little troubling - it makes sense, really .....

Anyhow, I finally went to one yesterday.

I have to say though, that woman who worked there was excellent. I explained my situation to her - she took one look at me (and I still had my big bulky coat on) and ran around the store and grabbed four gowns for me.

I heard her muttering to herself as she did this:

"No, not this one - to granny-ish."
"No, this is too young, won't look good."

She never asked my size or anything, yet this woman picked four gown, by four different designers that all FIT me.

Needless to say - I bought one there.

I spent too much. Or, well, I guess I should say I am just not used to spending that much on a dress - but evening gowns aren't cheap (what was I thinking??).

My line of thought is that if I can wear this thing to at least three different things, I'll get my money's worth out of it. I've already decided that after this gala, I'll wear it to my brothers wedding (which is going to be in Vegas), so there are two events. I just need one more to feel better about it all .....

Today I bought shoes for it.

Money well spent?

Not so sure, but it's a fabulous dress - it fits good (will need a tiny bit of altering - which happens when you have no boobs) - and I don't feel like a stuffed sausage in it. To me, having a comfortable dress (which I didn't think existed out there) is almost worth it right there ......

One of many walk updates.

Being on the walk committee is a lot of hard work.

It's not a full time thing by any means, but by March of every year, things start to heat up for us - and do so until the event happens in June. So, for basically three months of the year, a group of 10 of us (usually less) work our assess off to throw this event and make it a success.

With the recession taking hold, we all had a feeling it might be harder to secure funding for our walk. In the past, we've started making good connections with some drug companies who have sponsored our walk - but things were starting to look pretty grim. New reps were strolling in, who we didn't know, we were having trouble contacting others, and we were getting rejected by a few in the process.

Things were looking bad.

To top it off, one of our big entertainment features of the walk (the bouncy castle for kids) was sold to an out of town business and while they are willing to come and set up and work at our walk, the fees just went up almost $200.

Then there's the face painter we've used every year. This woman goes beyond face painting and is a freakin' ARTIST. She just informed she having bunion surgery on both feet come the middle of April and will be in leg casts for two months. She's unsure how mobile she'll be but will call me back in May to let me know if she can do it or not. That's leaving things a little late for me - in case she can't do it ... then what?

So, we were all down in the dumps.

Then the drug company BAYER stepped up and said "Here's $250 for your walk." Then another "annonymous" drug company stepped up and said "Here's another $250 for your walk." Ok, we're up to $500 - that's good (we need about a $1500 turnover for our walk each year ..... talk about tight budgeting huh?).

Then the biggie came yesterday.

Aventis (another drug company) phoned me and said they'd like to give us $1000 for our walk this year. OH.MY.GOD. I almost cried. That donation alone just put us to our goal - all donations after this will go to the JDRF. I was so excited I was trying to phone everyone on our committee to let them know .... and no one was home!!! ARGH. So I phoned my husband at work - I was bursting at the seams.

Then I got another email from one of our committee members. A local business is giving us another $250 sponsorship. Honestly, after having that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach for awhile there, this is heaven.

We've also secured our first ever BBQ fundraiser on the May long weekend for the JDRF. So we're pumped for that. I've contacted the local radio station to see if their "cruiser" could come out to it and put some exposure on the radio for us on the big day.

I think things are starting to fall into place.

Except the entertainment. Must get my ass in gear on that one.

We've also desperately been trying to get tickets for the Jonas Brothers concert that is in Winnipeg on July 5th. I've been told they go on sale officially on March 27th and they estimate they'll sell out in 4 minutes.

Nick Jonas has Type 1.

I'd LOVE to be able to auction off a pair of tickets to that concert at our walk (it would bring tons of more people out to it - raising more awareness in the process). BUT, try contacting people for a donation of tickets is pretty much futile as we're discovering. And what are the chances we'll be able to actually purchase a pair if they are going to sell out in 4 minutes???

Totally sucks ass. It'll all go to charity, but people are hanging on to those tickets like grim death. *sigh*

Well, that's it for now I suppose. I'm sure I'll be updating on this as the months fly by.

Addiction

I feel like a kid.

A kid with a problem.

You see, there are a couple of Nintendo DS's kicking around the house, and the latest purchase of the Super Mario DS 64 game has had me attached to that thing more than I care to admit.

What's going on??

That game has sucked me into the depths of secret worlds where Mario, Yoshi and Luigi are trying to rescue Princess Peach. And dammit, I cannot, for the life of me, figure out how to rescue Wario. I chase bunnies for keys to unlock games, I play games to get stars, I try to defeat Bowser to get keys to open doors to new worlds (or in this case, paintings you jump into).

Good God, I've been sucked in bad.

It's even seeped into my dreams.

Last night I dreamt I had to chase the dood who hit my van a month ago through these paintings to get his email address (contact info) for some reason.

Talk about losing your marbles.

This could also be a sign it's time to put the stinkin' game down and walk away. (or not play it before I go to bed?)

Who said Nintendo DS's are just for kids?

*disclaimer* I realize that I've just revealed my inner child in this post - do not judge me on this one, please! I just need help .......... (finding Wario, that is ....).

My big kids.

My kids are growing up so fast. Sometimes I have to stop and take a breather and realize that I no longer have "babies" in the house. In fact, we're quickly coming upon the last breath of preschoolerdom in this household and, well, holy crap where did the time go?

I think back to when I was holding my itty-bitty Brooke in my arms. My premature baby girl who made her early entrance into this world - which caused us stress and worry the first week of her life (which we quickly learned this kid was NOT going to give her doctors any problems and promptly grew and grew with only a one month hospital stay). Now, she's over half way through Grade 1, is 7 years old and is a generally happy, VERY chatty girl. She has a great sense of humour that one - well, I think she does - mainly because her humour is much like mine (Mom's bad influences and all). Fart jokes are a hit around here, and we all laugh. She knows how far she can get with rude behaviour before being punished and can push her sisters buttons like you wouldn't believe. She's actually quite bossy with her little sister (tries to play the Mommy role a lot), but I call her on it when I catch her at it and she stops. Otherwise, she plays very well with her little sister and from what I see and hear, she gets along very well with her peers at school.

It's just at some times, you wish you could stop the clock and keep them little for a time longer.

Danielle is my baby, and I have been guilty of treating her as such from time to time. This kid gets away with more than she should at times - and at these times, I should be the one getting punished. I stop myself when I catch myself at it. I wonder if all parents do this?

Danielle will be entering Kindergarten this coming Fall and is ready to start .... well, yesterday. The curse of being born on December 31st I suppose. We could have sent her last fall, but decided against better judgement to hold her back. I believe we made the best decision as she will be ahead of the game this way (better to be ahead than behind in my mind). She's smart as a whip, this one is and doesn't let a whole lot get her down. Having Type 1 Diabetes bugs her - some days she wishes it would go away (and I wish like hell I could do that for her) but out of the two kids, she's the stronger one of the two to deal with this I think. I just hope we do a good job raising her to take good care of herself. It's so hard.

We're coming up to the JDRF walk in June and we're involved up to our eyeballs this year again. I moan and groan about it, but I do it for my kid - and I always will. It's just a lot of work - especially when you have less than 10 people running the show, and a few of them are not available a good portion of the time to come to meetings and such.

This year, myself and one other member of the committe have taken it upon ourselves to approach Canadian CFL and NHL teams for items to auction off at our walk. We also included a celebrity here and there to see what would happen. Well, so far we've been rejected by the Montreal Canadiens, Calgary Stampeders, Edmonton Oilers, Saskatchewan Roughriders ..... it's not looking good right now. BUT, country singer George Canyon (who married a girl from my home town that I went to school with) sent us a couple of autographed things (he's also Type 1) and I hummed and hawed about sending off a letter to former NHL player Bobby Clarke (also from my home town - grew up with my Mom and my Uncle). I figured "what the hell" - I'll send him a letter and name drop like there's no tomorow .... shit, we grew up in the same home town, what do I have to lose?

Apparently he's quite private about his Type 1 (yes, he has it too) and doesn't give much to the JDRF (or hasn't in the past), so when a package for us arrived at the Winnipeg office from him, they were so excited they had to phone me to tell me the big news. He sent us an autographed photo (framed ... which broke during shipping .... ugh, so will have to replace that) and an autographed Flyers puck. Woo!

Hoping some more good stuff comes our way - we REALLY REALLY need it this year.

I could go on and on about that, but will save that for another boring post.

Just wish the kids would slow down in their growing ..... no more babies anymore!!

In Which I Should Be Doing Other Things .....

Here I sit - blogging - when I should be at the gym.

Losing weight stinks. Putting it on seems to be no big problem for me (unfortunately) but losing ... ugh. *sigh* The problem here is .... I detest exercise. I've yet to find something that I really like to do. Something that is fun for me and I don't mind getting off my fat ass and doing.

Cutting back on what I eat is one thing - but the exercising thing ...... not so good.

Blah.

I changed the look of my blog - it's frilly, girly and really not me, but it's fun. What the hell. I'm the only one that reads this crapola anyway.

I just joined a book club today as well. Can I read a novel/month? That's a good question. I should be able to - if it's a good one, I should be able to digest it in days, but if it sucks ass? I doubt I'll be able to get through it. The first book I'm supposed to read is The Last Lecture. At least this is one book I have actually wanted to read for awhile.

The phone just rang.

I just got suckered into selling Daffodils for the Cancer Society on the 21st at the mall for 2 hrs. (well, "suckered" isn't really the word I'm looking for) - I just do soooooooo much for the JDRF, that this is an extra task I wasn't really looking for, but I'll do it - and drag my 7 yr old with me (won't hurt her to do it either).

On to other things I suppose ......

Later.

Competitive Mom?

My kids just finished up a weekend taking part in the local "Festival of the Arts".

Both my girls are in dance - Brooke has been doing it for4 1/2 years now, Danielle is in her second year.

Each year their studio director enters them into this festival where they are adjudicated and they dance/compete against other dance schools from within the city and outside of town (rural centres).

This is really the only time we get to see where our kids stack up with regard to learning their "shit" - it's when we see others the same age, in the same categories, doing the same thing.

Well, this year our dance school didn't fare so well. In fact, in the Winners Showcase on Sunday (which is a culmination of the judges "favourites") only three acts were from our school, the rest were (and the majority at that) from other schools - one in particular.

Some of the parents who take their kids to our kids dance school have asked, in the past, to "pump it up" a bit as far as teaching their kids dance. And after speaking to other parents, we all seem to be on the same page about this.

On the off chance that I'm coming off as "competitive Mom" here, I surely don't want to be sounding like that (although it does). I really and truly feel that a lot of those kids could be pushed a bit harder in their dance classes - and NOT in a negative fashion either ... in a very, very positive way. I'm not talking drill sargeant action here - but I know that they can do better - we've seen it in the past. I just felt bad for Brooke's group when they walked off the stage and after dancing their little hearts out (to the level in which they were taught -not encouraged further), they were handed one of the lowest marks on the stage. Their sad faces just about broke my heart - they were absolutely no competition for those other girls - who were the same age, in dance for the same amount of time (maybe even less) and doing far better.

There seems to be something wrong.

As for Danielle's group - she just entered them as non-competitive, so it wasn't an issue. And at that age, it really shouldn't be anyway.

I just felt bad - and I know that with more encouragement - they could do better, they have such wonderful potential (there are only 5 of them in that group and they are extremely quick learners).

Oh well, what can you do. You pay for these classes and what do you teach your kids? We tell them that it's OK to not be first every time - that despite their marks they did fantastic and we loved their performance, but they know - they KNOW that everyone else was doing better. How do you make them feel better about that??

I'd hate to switch dance schools at this particular point as she's formed such a bond with the other girls in her group.

Oh well, maybe we'll just wait it out and see how things go next year (which I suspect will be more of a disaster as next year is a "Production Year" for their dance school ---- i.e. they are putting on a major production in the fall and all energies are focused on that instead .... so I'm sure that there will be scrambling after xmas).

Maybe I am competitive Mom. (everyone wants to see their kid kick ass in the thing they love to do)

Flake.

I'm a flake.

Here I am - AGAIN - blogging.

I do it, I quit, I do it, I quit. What, is this like my third freakin' blog I've started in the past four years??

Something like that.

There's something about it I guess - I keep getting sucked back in to doing it.

It's not like I HAVE to - it's because there's something about it that I actually like and I miss when I am not doing it.

Sometimes I can go months without a post. I suppose it's at this time I figure I might as well end my blog and be done with it ...... then low and behold, there I sit (like I am now) and I'm at the computer wishing I still had a blog to empty my thoughts on to (which, by the way, are not witty thoughts or anything like that - just piles of "stuff" that feels good to blog about and be on my merry way).

So, on this fucking cold March day (damn, it's March already and it's fucking cold out - where the hell is spring????), I start, yet again, another blog.

Let's see how long this flake can keep this one going ........