At it again.

This month has absolutely FLOWN by. Didn't the kids just start school, like, yesterday?

I digress ....

Add this poor excuse for a blog to my endless list of things neglected.

Both D and B have settled nicely into school - it's been a bit of a transition having them both gone, but for D it's only for the mornings - then she's home for the afternoons. Grade 1 will be the bigger challenge.

The school has been awesome with her - and that kid has thrown everything at them since starting - lows, highs and everything in between. Each day feels like an accomplishment to make it out of there without scars! I wish I knew what was going on, but this is the first time in a long time I've really, really felt out of control with her diabetes care - and this has been going on for a few months now. They said it would get better the older she got - but I'm finding that to be a big fat pile of horse shit right about now. Or maybe this instability is just finally grinding down on me and I'm heading for "one of those days" soon (you know, the real pity party day when you end up calling the endo cause you feel like you're going insane??). I have those every once in awhile .....

But the kid just keeps on going - and despite the shitty numbers, is having a great time at Kindergarten. That makes my heart swell - because despite how shit her blood sugars are - she's having the time of her life. Those poor farts and the weight they're carrying on their shoulder and don't even know it .... breaks my heart. They should be able to go to school and not have any of those health issues going on. (I suppose it's the parents that are more disturbed by this than anyone else .....)

Anyhow, other than that the kids are full boar back into their activities as well - swimming, dance classes and B's music lessons (violin).

Between staff training (two sessions), running back and forth to the school, hauling kids to the activity of the day and errands to run - my days are full (and the dreaded house upkeep that goes along with it). We seem to have a lot of company coming in to town to stay with us too, so it's been a little crazy. OH, and throw in that back to school snot-nosed cold in there too - can't forget that! I still sound like I smoke 10 pack/day when I cough .....

Over the weekend dh finally broke down and purchased a Wii for the kids for xmas (they went on sale). So now it has to sit in a box in the furnace room for 3 months until the jolly red man appears. So I guess we've officially started the xmas shopping?? Crazy .... but I suppose tomorrow is October, so it's not that bad, is it?

Speaking of which - tomorrow I turn another year older - which is bringing me closer to that big number 4-0. Wish I could still get as excited about birthdays as the kids do. Tomorrow is going to be another busy one, so I think we'll "celebrate" on Friday by going out for supper then (as a family) ... tonight I'm going out for supper with my gf's - which is just fine by me!

I've also decided to try selling Avon for kicks. It's been a bit of a joke so far though as I don't know what the hell I'm doing (and I'm not a huge make up person) but I think it would be kind of fun to do. At least it's something I can do that works around my schedule ...... pending this even works out, I'm still in the beginning stages of it all. *ding dong ... avon lady* OMG!! LOL - that's so awful!

Hanging In.

You know, some days this stupid disease called Diabetes makes me want to rip all my hair out and scream at the top of my lungs. Could something be any more frustrating? I mean, no matter how diligent you are, no matter how hard you try and no matter how much you log your numbers and your insulin intake and carbs - you sometimes wonder WHY AM I DOING THIS?? Because in the end, the disease does what it wants to in the end anyway ... all that hard work for what?? An increased a1c?? Holy hell yeah.

I don't get it. I don't think I'll EVER get it. I know this, but it never ceases to amaze me. My kids body just keeps throwing me for a loop.

Yes, D's a1c went up and I'm not happy about it. After battling a month of lows and decreasing her Lantus the day before the appointment, this threw me for a loop. I guess the only thing we could think of was that she was rebounding a lot from those lows, thus causing the higher a1c.

So, since cutting back the Lantus a few weeks ago, my kid has been HIGH - so danged high that the other day I couldn't stand it and had to increase her Lantus back to what it was. It still isn't settling as nicely as I hoped - but we're slowly getting there.

What the hell is going on?

BAH! All this before school starts. Great. They're going to want a plan - they'll be looking to me for advice, for what to do's, etc., and I can't tell them squat right now because we're flying by the seat of our pants at the moment. One more week is all we have to get this straightened out.

I just sooo wanted her to start off her school career on a good note and not have things so whacked out. Her teacher and EA are going to think I'm a nutjob. *sigh*

Damned disease.

In the meantime, despite this crummy stuff, we're trying to enjoy the last few days of summer. Going camping this weekend and a quick trip into the U.S next week for a couple of days to shop. A nice little getaway before back to routine. Although this summer has been so hectic with us going out of town and having company/family in for visits, I'm actually craving that stability that the routine will offer us once again ....

Till later.

Hair update.

I hate thinking up titles for my blog entries. But, as I was just thinking about what I wrote about in my last entry, I guess I can update on B's hair status. It's FINALLY starting to slow down (the hair loss, that is). We're VERY relieved as all her bloodwork came back normal - if this had continued on as heavily as it was, the kid would have been bald by the time school started.

Anyhow, while it is still shedding, it's way less than it was. So, I think the culprit was that virus she got back in May, of all things. Leave it to our family to have funky weird health things happen.

School starts in a month - I'm just waiting to get a phone call from the school nurse to set things up. It's hard as we're trying to make plans for that week before school starts (V has holidays then and we want to go away). I'm trying to limit the time we're away in case we're to go in for some training. I don't know what to expect. So, just a little bit frustrated at the moment.

Dani had her appointment at the diabetes clinic earlier this week. Her a1c was up, which shocked/upset me. For the last month we had been battling LOWS of all things - so I had just cut back her Lantus. I figured with all the lows we had been dealing with, she'd have a decent a1c (not that I wanted a good one because of the lows - but if it HAD been a good one, I would have known WHY). But it was UP. Baffled me. We talked to our endo and educator and we figured that the reason it went like that was because of all the rebounds from the lows - lots of unpredictability and that it was a good thing I cut back on the Lantus - to smooth things out. UGH. I just felt sick walking out of there. They said the a1c wasn't horrible or anything - I was still doing a good job, but we just hadn't seen a number like that since, well, she was diagnosed. (and it wasn't horrific then, either) So now I am obsessed with those blood sugars like you wouldn't believe ...... (and every time I make adjustments to the Lantus, her I:C ratio goes all wonky and it takes me awhile to figure that all out too - so we're a bit in limbo right now until all settles). BAH!!!!

Rant over. We'll deal. Just hope I get it all down to a science before school starts (then it'll go all stupid again on me, right??!!).

Anyhow, V works today, it's rainy out and I think we'll go out, get some groceries and rent some movies. It's a "movie" day me thinks. The other day we got pelted with golfball size hail - damaged our truck and ruined the kids playhouse in the back yard. Could have been worse I suppose. Our trailer managed to go unscathed. Scared the hell out of us at 4 a.m. though. Sounded like someone was on the roof with a freakin' jackhammer!

Gotta love those summer storms.

Well, that's about all for now. We have a busy few weeks coming up, but that's ok, it'll keep the kids happy and maybe they'll fight less *riiiiigggghhhht*.

Later.

Oops

Ah, it's been awhile again. I'm a lousy blogger. Years ago - did it every day. Now? Not so much.

Hard to believe summer is half over already. July has flown by, but I knew it would. This was our month with the most activities - August might be a bit slower paced for us. So far I think the kids are having a good time.

We've already done our camping excursion up north to visit my family, then looped around west and south to visit the inlaws, then made our way home. That was a 12 day stint away from home. We were home for a week, then gone again to the city (camping yet again) and did the fun kids stuff that we never do when we're there - Fun Mountain, Tinkertown and a bit of shopping. I swear, those things wore me right out. A massive water park and a huge amusement park in two days almost put me in a motorized scooter. (I was actually wishing I had one by the end of Day 2). Everyone had fun though, so that was the main objective anyway.

I had another trip into the city earlier this week to have a root canal done by an endodontist (there isn't one here). I really, REALLY wasn't looking forward to that appt. I'd only been putting that little procedure off for oh, say .... about 15 yrs or so. Seriously. It was a "sensitive" molar that continuously gave me grief on an off over the years that finally came to the point where my dentist said, "Look, I just can't do anything else with it - this is what needs to be done."

I knew it would come to this - I just didn't want to do it. Anyhow, the long/short of it is, it's done now, my mouth is still a little sore from it all, but the deed is done. The expenses aren't though (this damned thing needs to be crowned in the coming months now) - not sure what hurts more ?!?! (the pocketbook or the mouth?)

Something weird has been going on with B too. Her hair has been falling out - and I mean FALLING OUT. It's not in one specific area - it's diffuse - but it's alarming and my stomach flops every day when I brush her hair and it's worse when we wash it.

I took her to her pediatrician last Friday and he ordered a pile of bloodwork to be done on her and all this week we haven't heard anything (he said they'd call if anything showed up). It's been a week and I'm wondering if I should call just to ease my mind. I've googled this (cause that's what people do these days) and I'm curious about something called "telogen effluvium". This describes exactly the type of hair loss that is occuring in her and this can occur anywhere from 6-16 weeks after having a severe flu/high fever. She had that in May - was so sick for a week which ended in a kidney infection and missed an entire week of school. That had to be one of the worst illnesses that kid had. It makes me wonder if that's when it happened ??? It sounds about right - and it's something I'd like to ask the ped, but don't want to sit in his office for 2 hrs just to ask one question. BLAH. Maybe he'll phone .... guess it won't hurt to ask ....

Anyhow, other than the fact my kid is BALDING, not much else going on (I really hope it cycles out ....). Good times all around at our house!

Our thank you cards from the walk are still not done. No one seems motivated to do them and I'm sick - so sick of chasing people to help me do them. I refuse to do them all - REFUSE. I'm thinking of just taking care of the ones I dealt with and be done with it (everyone take care of their own contacts) - then I can wash myself of it all. Yeah, I really, REALLY don't make a good co-chair of an even such as this.

Anyhow, guess I'll go here - hope I don't leave this blog so long before my next post ....!

Up and Coming ...

Only two more weeks of school left.

Wow - this year went by fast. Then again, I think I say that every year.

We're just finalizing our summer plans and next month is a doozy for us. With summers being so short here, you try to pack a lot in, in a short period of time. Unfortunately for us though, V's work holidays are all in July - none in August - so we'll be running off our asses for the first month, and bored out of our gills the next.

Maybe next year we can be a better smarter about it and spread things out a bit better.

Anyway, we'll be heading up north to visit family and friends and this year, after purchasing the truck, we can finally take our trailer with us. So, lots of camping in our future. That's ok though - that's what we bought it for. I'm looking forward to seeing my family and friends - there are some new babies in the family I can't wait to get my hands on, and catching up with everyone. I miss being at the lake where I spent all my summers growing up - and that's where we'll be camping. So, I'm definitely looking forward to that. Then we're off to visit the IL's. We'll be camping a few days with my sister in law and her husband at another lake on our way down into SK - that should be decent - then we'll be off to spend time at the farm with V's family and friends for a few days.

I'm just hoping for some decent weather along the way, that would be a bonus.

Then we hope to camp on our way back home.

We'll be home for one week (or five days) which I think I'll have Brooke in a day camp of some sort (either at the art gallery, or violin camp ..... we're still debating this one). I think she'd prefer art camp, hands down ....

Then we'll be off to Calgary to visit my brother - hit the mountains and spend a few days in the city (take the kids to the zoo, Calaway Park and Ikea of course .... um, the last one is for ME).

Once we get back, V will be back to work, but I have to head into the city for a night with my folks at the end of the month for a specialists appointment. Fun stuff for me, and I'm really, really excited about this, I have to have a root canal done on one of my molars and have to see an endodontist for this pricey little procedure. We don't have an endodontist here - so lucky me - I have to drive to Wpg for this. I have had a root canal done in the past - NOT FUN - mind you that tooth was infected at the time so the freezing wouldn't take, at least this time that isn't the case - so that dood better pump me up with freezing - I don't care if my entire head is frozen - I do NOT want to feel that being done AT ALL.

So not really looking forward to that little trip. The parents will look after the kids at the hotel for me while this is being done *sigh*.

A nice way to end the month, dontcha say?

Oh well, August will be a downer - nothing really going on. Dani has her appt in Wpg to the diabetes clinic mid month, so we'll take a quick scoot in for that - but other than that, I guess we'll just try to camp on the weekends when we can in our neck of the woods (so to speak).

There's our summer in a nutshell.

Crazy, crazy ....

We Did It!

Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh MAN!

I'm so happy right now I could burst! First of all, all things crazy - ARE DONE! Yes, dance is done and that walk - that TELUS WALK TO CURE DIABETES .... IS DONE! The big thing that was taking up my time -my LIFE 24/7 for the past couple of months is finally done. And all I can say about that is *WHEW*!

All I'm going to say about it was that it was a very successful event this year - and for that, I am very grateful. And, despite the CRAP weather we had to deal with - people still came with their pledges and walked for that cure - that cure that we all so desire for our children and loved ones.

The walk went off without a hitch - which is surprising, considering we had a skeleton crew pulling this thing off, but everyone seemed to be happy with it. We have had a new person step forward and offer to chair it next year, so I'm VERY relieved about that. I didn't mind chairing it so much, it just went above and beyond that when you had limited volunteers. Hopefully some more volunteers are rounded up this next year for 2010's walk.

In total - I think in the end - we'll be up almost $10,000 more than last year. And that's a BIG WOW for this community. BIG WOW.

I'm also happy that the kids extra curricular activities are now done except for Brooke's violin lessons - which will be done in the next couple of weeks. But that is not very time consuming at all (once/week). Danielle will be graduating from nursery school NEXT WEEK - and this Mom is going to be a sobbing mess at that one.

Yes - I'll be one of "those parents". Moreso because both my children attended that nursery school so it's a bit of an "end of an era" for this family. The past five years have been spent shuttling at least one or both children back and forth to that place, so it'll be a sad day when we have to say good-bye. We've also grown quite attached to one of the teachers - who already will start to bawl when you even whisper the word "graduation" to her ...... she misses Dani already and she's not gone yet.

Which will bring us to new beginnings with the School Division. Yes - good ol' Kindergarten.

Danielle is blessed to be going to a terrific school in the fall and will be taught by a GRADE A teacher, but it will not be without it's bumps in the road. We're somewhat used to being coddled where the diabetes is concerned at the nursery school - so we'll see how they'll be dealing with this in a public school. I know the school she's going to be attending has been trying their hardest to secure an EA for the fall, but being realistic, I highly doubt they'll get the funding and poor Mrs. M will be left w/o that extra help in the classroom for Dani.

This leaves some shred of panic for this mom - while I do feel confident that Mrs. M can handle Danielle's diabetes, I do NOT have confidence in a substitute dealing with it on the days that there is one and I also need to feel confident that she is covered during gym/music and recess.

Grade 1 will be more challenging - at least with Kindergarten it's only 1/2 day every day, so it can "break us both in" for the full day thing that will start the following year. And, by that point, we hope to have her on an insulin pump ....

Well, it feels kinda good to blog again .... better go and do a bit more laundry. The chore that never ends.

Too Much

*Whew*

I haven't blogged in a bit here. Too darned busy. Even now, as I sit here, I'm thinking up half a dozen other things I should be doing otherwise.

So, basically, just popping off a note here that I'm not dead. I am, however, convinced that May and June are the busiest times of the year - screw December. All this winding down, planning stuff, recitals, rehearsals, field trips, graduations - you name it - I am having a hard time remember what's what around here.

Anyhow, lots to tell, but no time to tell it - which is probably a good thing ....

I'll be back .... at some point. I promise.

Sisterly Love

Brooke: *sitting on the couch one morning playing her Nintendo DS* GET AWAY FROM ME DANIELLE - YOU SMELL LIKE PEE!!!

Danielle: NO I DON'T!

Brooke: YES YOU DO - YOU STILL WEAR A DIAPER - YOU SMELL LIKE PEE - GET AWAY FROM MEEEEE!!!

*Danielle STILL wears a pull up, at age 5. We've discussed this with the docs and everything - she just does NOT wake up in the night to go to the bathroom .....*

Danielle: IT IS NOT A DIAPER - IT'S A PULL UP! (her bottom lip starts to hang)

Brooke: Whatever - YOU STINK!

Danielle: Yeah?? Well, you smell like PUKE!

Brooke: I do NOT!

Danielle: YES YOU DO!

*for the record, Brooke was just recovering from the puke flu at this time*

Brooke: NO I DON'T! I HAVEN'T PUKED SINCE YESTERDAY!

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A sign on Brooke's bedroom door says this:

"No Danielle in my room."

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Webkinz Woes

My kids are addicted to Webkinz and frequently visit the website. On it, they send each other "gifts" for their virtual pets - like articles of clothing or items to decorate each others webkinz rooms.

Not too long ago, a fight broke out at the dinner table between the two - can't even remember what it was about (it's usually about something incredibly stupid), when the sobs started.

Danielle: WELL, I want my gifts back on Webkinz world that I sent you today!!

Brooke: Nope!

Danielle: YES!!! You're not being nice to me, so I want them back!!!!

*Yes, they've even resorted to fighting over gifts given to one another virtually.*

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The list goes on, really.

And that plague lasted an entire week here with Brooke ending up missing an entire week of school as well as having a kidney infection - so having her here, in the house, cooped up, led to a lot of fighting (the misery, the discomfort and such). I think I grew another 50 or so new grey hairs in the matter of a few days.

Oh the joys.

The Gala.

Gala ..... gala ..... g-a-l-a.

It's an annoying word - kinda sounds like you're going to gag on something ....

I digress.....

So last weekend Myself, M and S headed into the city for the big GALA for the JDRF. We had our gowns packed, make-up, hair shit and wine. We were all set for the big night.

We drove in Saturday afternoon and got all settled into our hotel room and started getting ready. The place where the event was taking place was attached to the hotel, so we didn't even have to leave the building to get there *bonus*. The girls who run the JDRF office in Wpg came over to our room to get ready (they had been at the CC decorating and such all.day.long. so needed somewhere to go to get ready). We all laughed, chatted, had some wine and got ready. The three of them had to be back there well before we had to get there.

S, M and myself were assigned a job at the gala. At this event, many fundraising activities were taking place. There was a silent auction (with fantastic items up for bid - very PRICEY items up for bid), a live auction and the Funds for a Cure Auction.

We were given the job of working with the silent auction. There were two closing times on the bids (10:15 and 11:00). At each time, respectively, we were to go to our assigned table with the items up for bid, and grab the clipboards with the bids on them and take them to the "teller". Top bidder got the item. Apparently in the past, they didn't have volunteers to do this and people got miffed when the closing time came, and someone "thought" they were the top bidder, and then someone else would come along and out-bid them. With us grabbing the clip boards out from under them - that wasn't possible.

Only problem with this scenario, was that while this was our first time being there, there were many people there that had been there many times in the past and hadn't seen this happen before and were upset that these "strangers" were grabbing the clipboards at closing time.

M got yelled at over a watch up for auction. T - the volunteer in charge of us - saw this happening as M stopped, paused and didn't know what to do when the lady flipped out on her. T was at another table, grabbing clipboards and was yelling over the crowd, "JUST GRAB IT!!! JUST TAKE IT!!!!".

It was a bit of a gong show ....

Anyhow, that was just one part of it.

M, S and myself were seated at a table with complete strangers.

Not that this was unexpected. We didn't know a soul there except for the girls who ran the JDRF office.

We were placed at a table with a group of young, very, very, wealthy jewish couples. As the night wore on, we found out a few things about them .... status was very important (ha ha, and here we were, a group of girls from Brandon *which, btw, I've discovered over my years of living in Brandon that a lot of winnipeggers think Brandonites are all farmers. I find this tidbit of information damned hilarious seeing as I'm not originally from Brandon myself and now live there. I'm slowly learning these things ....* So I can only imagine what these couples were thinking of us when they found out where we were from. We also found out that they live on one of THE wealthiest streets in Winnipeg. The women (who were younger than me) were discussing having a block party - inviting the "chip truck", "Dickie-Dee's Ice Cream Man" and having a bouncy castle. The one dood was a corporate lawyer. A shifty kind of guy who couldn't sit still. His wife took it upon herself to ask M many, many personal questions and we found out that NONE of them knew what the fuck Type 1 Diabetes was.

Turns out, they were there because one of the organizers of the event sold them tickets. See - their kids go to school with HER kid.

It was all about status.

We later learned that this particular gala is one of the most prestigious ones that is held in the city every year.

I guess it's best, when you have money, to look good, rather than know why the hell you're there.

It was a mixed feeling for me though - because I found that a lot of these people were annoying the shit out of me. Rude - for the most part. Mike Kelly - head coach for the Winnipeg Blue Bombers got up to speak to the crowd. See, his daughter has Type 1.

No one listened.

There was so much chatter and talking in the room, I could hardly make out what the hell the guy was saying.

Then they played a video about the upcoming Funds for a Cure auction. Mary Tyler Moore was on it - a bunch of kids talking were on it - as well as some adults. What the hell they were saying though, was beyond me because I COULDN'T HEAR WHAT THEY WERE SAYING.

I wanted to jump up on my table and yell, "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU IGNORANT ASSHOLES!!!" But really, who does that? (It's just what my head was screaming.) So, I didn't hear the video, either.

None of the speeches were well received.

I think people were just there for the fun of it.

I know that's definitely part of it - but as a parent with a child with this disease, I was highly insulted by these people's ignorance. They were trying to educate them - it just wasn't being received.

But then something crazy happened.

They started the Funds for a Cure auction.

Basically, what this is is that the auctioneer starts at $5000 and asks WHO wants to make a donation to the JDRF for that amount to help find a cure - and it's held in an auction-style.

People were bidding left, right and centre.

You could have picked up our jaws off the floor.

Despite the rudeness that was taking place just moments prior - these people dropped $45,000 in about 15 minutes just on that auction alone.

I suppose there are a couple of ways to look at it. Maybe these people with money felt that it made them "look good" to do it. I do know that there were people there that WERE there for the cause for sure, but whatever the case - we'll take their money!

It was incredible.

I haven't heard what the final tally of the night was (silent auction, FAC and live auction totals) but they had 500 people there and each ticket cost $175 - some of that was even a donation.

Crazy stuff.

Definitely not my scene - I don't hold up well hangin' with the wealthy for long periods of time. But it was definitely something for the books. I did enjoy myself. M, S and myself were goofy - I mean, you gotta lighten up - right? We had fun in our own way. The band that played there was fantastic and we even got up and danced.

There were a few drunks at the end of the night - but it's all good :) They made the night more interesting. Even the old man who kept hitting on M.

Poor M.

So that was our night out ..... then I came home the next day and at dinner time my seven year old got sick. Good ol' puke flu - and she's still home from school today from this gawd awful virus. We joke about it being the swine flu .... *sigh*. But I'm positive she's on the upswing today and I know I'll be sending her back to school tomorrow - three days home is enough (and I've had enough puke to clean up for awhile too).

I just hope that Dani doesn't catch this one .....

Well whaddya know ....

I've been down and out for a bit. Internet speaking, that is. Apparently, unbeknownst to myself (or my husband), we did not have any antivirus protection on this computer and it caught up to us the other week.

We did the usual pointing of the fingers *it's your fault, not mine!* - back and forth, then ultimately blamed our ISP because it made us feel better - but really, it WAS our fault. We just assumed our ISP had installed some antivirus protection on this thing when we switched providers late last summer. It maybe should have clued into us that the thing never did updates .... ever. And it never, ever caught anything or asked us anything .... in my stupidity (and here's the part where you laugh and say "you're such a dolt!") I thought that maybe, in some way, the viruses and such were being intercepted at "headquarters" so-to-speak.

Yes, I'm that naive. What do I know about antivirus software?

More now, thank you very much.

I'm protected up the whazoo. And $140 later my computer is cleaned up too. The shakes were minimal as I was cut off from the world. I actually had to resort to phoning people and speaking to them vs emailing for once. *gasp*

Anyhow, we're back in cyberspace and all is right in the world now.

I'm off to the gala this coming weekend. All three of us have our gowns secured (there was a bit of a crisis with M this past weekend but it's being taken care of .... really, who has a dress that fits on Saturday, but will NOT fit on Sunday??? She had to scramble to find a seamstress to take care of THAT mess.) Shoes purchased, accessories purchased, even the little evening bag purchased - yeesh. Good thing I am only doing this once (well, may do it again in a few years, but not next year, that's for sure).

I'm a little nervous about the spray tan we're going for on Friday night though. You see where I'm going with that one, don't you? I don't want to be white as a ghost (which I am) but I don't want to be orange, either. So there may be a story for this blog after involving that stupid spray tan I agreed to.

Well, I suppose I should sign off here. My kid wants to do something "fun". I think we'll go investigate the toy box and see what lingers at the bottom. It's like Christmas, you know, when you dig to the bottom of that thing and reveal stuff they haven't seen in months *sigh*.

Till next time ....

More hours in the day ......

So, in my ignorance I figured becoming the co-chair of this years walk wouldn't be so bad.

*this is where I snort*

Dear freakin' lord. I don't know how one person did all this last year. Honestly. It's like taking on a full time job, except you're not getting a paycheque for it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for a paycheque - the reward in this case is how many show up at the walk and the $$$ that is raised in the end - but FRIK it's more work than I thought.

I think I'm starting to get in panic mode - only 2 months to go before the walk and it seems like now we really need to start getting things done. Then again, it's like this every year. We can't do much UNTIL those last two months anyhow. It just feels high pressure, that's all.

More so this year because we actually have JDRF people coming out the walk this year (they never come because the Wpg walk is always the same day - this year it is NOT) and we want to make ourselves look good. Yeesh.

We've hit brick walls on every aspect of the childrens entertainment. Face painter - having foot surgery. Bouncy castle - business was sold to an out of town person. Clown? They moved to Wpg. I shake my head.

I think we'll still manage. We're struggling, but we're finding some alternatives. It's just giving me a grey hair or two more to deal with, that's all.

Everyday I'm emailing people, begging for stuff. I'm printing off letters, begging for stuff. I'm so not good at this stuff to be honest with you. BUT, just trying to focus on the big picture here ....

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I apologize for my rants - it makes me feel better.

In other family-like news, my youngest lost her first tooth yesterday. Oh the drama! The thing was literally hanging there by a thread and do you think she'd pull it out? She was having trouble talking and everything because this tooth was dangling out of her mouth every time she spoke.

Finally I had enough of it and told her it was coming out. Then the freak out started. I asked her if SHE wanted to do it and she shook her head. Then I asked her if she wanted ME to do it and she agreed. So, two minutes later, with tears streaming down her face (and a few yelps) I had the darned thing in my hands. It was like someone flicked a switch. She went from "freak out" to bouncing off the walls because the tooth fairy was now coming to our house and she was going to get some money.

Funny kid.

Now when she smiles she looks like a hockey player - and darn it if that tooth beside the one that just fell out isn't loose now too .....

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The Easter bunny went shopping this afternoon.

This particular Easter bunny doesn't really like shopping for Easter treats when there's a kid with Diabetes in the house. I ran around the store reading ingredient lists for gluten and non-gluten containing treats, then read the carb content and what was easiest to measure out when the big day arrives. I really, REALLY cut back on the chocolate this year and they're getting more toys/trinkets and clothes this year as a result.

Oh well, the Easter bunny only has their health in mind here - hope they understand that. They'll still have little chocolate eggs to search for, and isn't that the main thing anyway? (just no big 2 lb choc bunny to eat afterward.)

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Well, I suppose I should go and organize a few more things here before hitting the hay. I want to enjoy the Easter weekend w/o thinking of the walk/sponsors/donations or any of the sort. Leave it until Monday :)

Have a good one!

This one is new ....

This is something I've noticed about 4x's now with Danielle and I'm beginning to wonder if this is going to be how she handles "this" when it happens.

Let me explain (sorry if I'm all over the board here, I apologize).

I hope this makes some sense ....

First incident:

A Saturday morning - both kids have swimming lessons at the Y. Their lessons begin at 10:40 a.m. (approx. 2 hrs after that breakfast shot) so the timing somewhat stinks - but what can you do? Anyhow, this one particular Saturday, we tested Danielle before we left for the pool and she was in the 6's. A decent number, but if I remember correctly, she had eaten a late breakfast and that fast acting insulin had only been in her system for an hour - hour and a half. It was going full speed. A number in the 6's (which is fantastic) is NOT good when you've got insulin on board knocking that number down, PLUS, when there is a physical activity planned, it's a double whammy.

So, I gave her some fruit snacks (about 20 g of carbs) to see where that would take her.

I shake my head at this because the amount of insulin I gave her for breakfast is what I would have given her any other day for what she had eaten. WHY it was hitting her hard that day - I don't know. This happens to her more often than I like to admit - which makes that freakin' insulin:carb ratio thing a real challenge.

Anyhow, we get to the Y, and just before she starts her class - I test her again. STILL in the 6's. No movement what-so-ever.

Oh freakin' fantastic is what I'm thinking. So, I give her half a juice box and send her on her way.

She swims for 1/2 hr (I'm right there sitting on a bench beside the pool). She's having fun - working hard, swimming her little heart out. As soon as she gets out and sits beside me (her sister swims 10 minutes longer than her), she looks pale and looks like she's about to vomit.

I check her again - she's a decent number (in the 7's I believe) but will be dropping because of all the physical activity she just did (it hits her for about 2-3 hrs after she's done it). She tells me she doesn't feel well at all and quite frankly, the kid looked like death warmed over. I took her quickly back into the change room and got her dressed. I kept asking her if she wanted to have a drink, but she refused (which makes sense if you feel like puking, you don't want to eat or drink anything).

Brooke came into the change room shortly after and I got her quickly dressed and we sped home. How that kid didn't puke all over the floor in the change room is nothing short of a miracle. She was gagging and everything. I thought maybe she was coming down with a puke virus or something - but nope, it apparently wasn't.

We got her home and she layed on the couch for about an hour or so after and eventually sipped on some juice - I kept testing her to make sure she didn't crash. By mid afternoon she was ready for lunch (which totally screwed everything up).

Then, it happened 2 more times - but on different occasions. Same background story though - the insulin hit her hard, we were "feeding" the insulin to avoid a crash - even though the numbers stayed relatively OK, she felt like complete crap and was on the verge of throwing up.

It's one of those things where you think "well, the numbers aren't telling us everything here". There's apparently a lot going on inside her body that's affecting her as we fight to stave off that low, and it makes her feel like shit.

My poor little fart. I wish I could make this go away. I feel guilty because then I beat myself up over the fact that I've apparently given her too much insulin - but the kid is so damned sensitive to it some days I just don't know what to do anymore. She was at a birthday party when this happened on one of the occasions. A day when I'd let things slip up a bit more as far as what she can eat (i.e. potato chips and a cupcake). She was 11.2 before eating the junk food. Honest to God all I gave that kid was 1/2 unit of fast acting insulin and we had to fight off a freakin' low. WTF???? Some days I just can't figure it out (and yes, I realize that it's always going to be like that) but FUUUUUUCK! She wasn't even running around all that much either .... maybe it was excitement? Who the hell knows .... all I know is that when it does happen - my kid feels like poo.

*sigh*

One for the books I guess. I'll talk to her doc and educator about it and get their take on it. Not that there's really anything that can be done I suppose. I try my freakin' hardest to avoid these things from happening, but I just never know when her body is going to react in this manner.

Bah!

Sugar boy.

Brooke started taking violin lessons this year (well, starting in September).

She goes to a place in town that sells musical instruments and upstairs in this building they hold music lessons for various instruments. It's a weird set up - the lessons are held in the evenings, but the store is closed in the evenings, so you have to go through the side door which is located behind a 7-eleven store. You're always a little nervous going behind there on dark nights .... it's a little creepy.

Anyhow, you go in the door, and there's this narrow stairway you go up and at the top you hang a right which has a tiny sitting room for parents, then expands into two hallways. Down these hallways are a series of coloured doors with little windows in them. Each has a sign hanging off of them "Carole - VIOLIN" , "John - DRUMS", "Greg - GUITAR", etc. And in each room you hear various musical sounds coming from them - strings, piano, kids singing, the beat of drums - you name it.

Each week we take Brooke to her lesson and sit outside for 1/2 hour as she goes into "Carole - VIOLIN" 's room (the green door), and you can hear her amateur attacks on the violin as she tries her hardest to imitate her teacher.

Most of the classes run on the hour/half hour - except the violin classes. They run example - 7:15-7:45 .... so those kids are always coming in and out in between the other kids who are coming and going on the hour and half hour.

One week a friend of mine was in from out of town to visit us - I took Brooke to violin and N came with us to sit with me to keep me company. As we were sitting there, a new crop of kids were starting to show up in the middle of my kids lesson for their lessons. There is one kid, in particular, who always is entertaining to watch. I'm not sure what his name is, but he's a little blonde boy who plays the guitar.

Every week he gets dropped off by his parents (he must be about 10 yrs old), he comes upstairs, plops down (he's always quite early), then looks at his watch. Then he grabs his coat, his shoes and heads out to the 7-eleven with a wad of money, and comes back with gobs of candy.

My friend and I were watching this candy kid ..... this particular day, he had in his hands about 5 packs of skittles - and tore into about 3 of them before his lesson started.

Another week he came back with assorted gums, hard candies, skittles (these seem to be his fav) and chocolate bars, and tore into about 1/2 of them before going in for his lesson.

He's kind of funny to watch. He's not shy about how much candy he's just bought - or how much he's going to eat either - he downs as much as he can before his lesson starts.

Recently my husband has started taking Brooke to her lessons.

I asked him about the sugar boy. Is he still going? Does he still make his weekly trips to the 7-eleven.

He started laughing. Apparently he's still going strong.

Being the parent of a kid with type 1 diabetes, I'm always *gasp* "Look at how many carbs that kid is eating!!!!" - but then I have to snap out of it ... the rest of the world doesn't live like us (only the diabetics do) - then it's kind of funny.

I guess I kind of hope that one day my kid can do that one day too. Albeit, I wouldn't let her do it on a regular basis like this kid - but on Halloween ?? Hell yeah.

@%#$'ing Tickets!

So, we heard the Jonas Brothers are coming to Winnipeg in July for a concert.

"Hey! Wouldn't getting a couple of tickets to raffle off at the walk bring in a lot of cash? After all, Nick Jonas has Type 1 - I bet this would be awesome - we could really bring in a lot of people and awareness advertising a couple of tix up for grabs!"

And, so it went .....

M and I obsessed about it.

I had just finished reading the book "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch. If you haven't read it, I suggest reading it - or watching his actual "Last Lecture" on YouTube. (I'd link all this, but I'm too lazy, really). In it, he discusses that in life, you hit "brick walls" - and that these brick walls are put there for a reason - to filtre out the people who really want things badly, and those who don't.

Well, we wanted to get our hands on some Jonas Brothers tickets badly. I think some of my committee members thought I was nuts - but M and I were obsessed with getting our hands on some. (Frankly, I don't give two shits about them - just looking at the big picture though).

So coming from the mouth of a dying man - and the brick walls - and getting what you want in life if you try hard enough (don't give up and all that shit) - we were persistant.

I had a good friends brother searching for some for me in Winnipeg. I contacted a newspaper in Winnipeg as well as the local radio station - PLEADING for help (with NO response - damn them!). The Winnipeg newspaper suggested I find out who is sponsoring the event - yet no one would tell me who that was. The JDRF office in Winnipeg already had their tickets that they are raffling off at their gala next month (yes, the one I'm wearing the dress to) and couldn't do much more than that.

What I wanted was something for us - before the tickets went on sale to the general public on Saturday (we'd have no chance, then). Then we heard MTS employees already had their hands on some (WTF??) - why don't I know any MTS employees? None of us on the committee do (crap!) .... turns out they had VIP Jonas Brothers access from the fan site (MTS became a fan - this costs a fee - we didn't want to pay it). Sooooo, while all of this is going on, I'm getting to the point of giving up (even though I really didn't want to, but I felt like no one wanted to help us and that we were going in circles that were leading to nowhere).

Then, one of M's clients said she was getting pre-sale tickets (today) - we would have to buy them, but did we want a couple of them as well??

We discussed ..... $100/ticket - I guess we could get two *sigh* (was looking more for a donation, but whatever). So we said yes.

Then at 7:50 a.m. this morning I get a call from M - her client says she can only buy a max of two tickets - sorry, can't help us. Turns out, the tickets are on sale to American Express card holders only. M doesn't have one of these cards - doesn't know anyone else who uses one - we're hooped.

But then I had a thought ..... "Do WE have one?? I think we do ... we never use it, I think we have it for back up emergencies, but I think we might..." (a lot of help that might do me in an emergency when I'm not even sure if I hold one of these cards ...)

Turns out, low and behold, Vince and I do own Amex cards.

So, I go to the ticketmaster site - see that they go on sale at 10 a.m. and that there is NO max order of 2 tix (her friend was bullshitting her) - you could get a max of 8 tix). Whatever.

So, at 10 a.m. - I went online and tried to get two floor seat tickets .... it kept rejecting me.

FUUUUUCK.

Now what?

I try again at that price - instead I get one row up. Oh, what the hell ever - just give me the stinkin' tickets! So, I got them.

I have two Jonas Brothers tickets being sent to my house (and I don't even want them).

I tell you, after all that, I despise the Jonas Brothers. But, I have two fucking tickets to their show, and that's all that matters - right??

And, as it turns out - Vince's boss might "purchase" them from us to donate to the walk .... so, we might not be out that money in the end anyway.

Frikkin' Jonas Brothers ........

Money well spent?

Next month two girlfriends and myself are heading into Winnipeg for a night.

We're all attending a fundraising event for the JDRF and it's a gala.

We're all quite excited about this - it's a pretty swanky affair. Black tie, fabulous meal, drinks, dancing and two live auctions and a silent auction - all fundraising for a cure. It's a big thing.

I missed something in that paragraph though. After "black tie" should be "evening gowns".

Oh - evening gowns .... evening gowns, evening gowns - who knew those two words could evoke such stress! Me? Shop for an evening gown (let alone WEAR an evening gown)?? Someone who lives to wear cotton? Stretchy, comfy cotton?

Did I mention I am fashion-challenged as well? (well, I am)

So, after purchasing our tickets to this event (which weren't cheap either), and the excitement wore off a bit - the realization set in that "SHIT, we have to find something to wear to this thing!"

I have a month. Or should I say - I had a month.

You see, I have found something - after ordering a few things from Sears *choke, choke* (you get what I mean when I say I am challenged in the fashion department??) - I sent them back figuring they were not appropriate (and they didn't fit right either). I asked around and was directed to go to the local Bridal shops. They sell prom dresses and evening gowns as well.

Why I never figured this out is a little troubling - it makes sense, really .....

Anyhow, I finally went to one yesterday.

I have to say though, that woman who worked there was excellent. I explained my situation to her - she took one look at me (and I still had my big bulky coat on) and ran around the store and grabbed four gowns for me.

I heard her muttering to herself as she did this:

"No, not this one - to granny-ish."
"No, this is too young, won't look good."

She never asked my size or anything, yet this woman picked four gown, by four different designers that all FIT me.

Needless to say - I bought one there.

I spent too much. Or, well, I guess I should say I am just not used to spending that much on a dress - but evening gowns aren't cheap (what was I thinking??).

My line of thought is that if I can wear this thing to at least three different things, I'll get my money's worth out of it. I've already decided that after this gala, I'll wear it to my brothers wedding (which is going to be in Vegas), so there are two events. I just need one more to feel better about it all .....

Today I bought shoes for it.

Money well spent?

Not so sure, but it's a fabulous dress - it fits good (will need a tiny bit of altering - which happens when you have no boobs) - and I don't feel like a stuffed sausage in it. To me, having a comfortable dress (which I didn't think existed out there) is almost worth it right there ......

One of many walk updates.

Being on the walk committee is a lot of hard work.

It's not a full time thing by any means, but by March of every year, things start to heat up for us - and do so until the event happens in June. So, for basically three months of the year, a group of 10 of us (usually less) work our assess off to throw this event and make it a success.

With the recession taking hold, we all had a feeling it might be harder to secure funding for our walk. In the past, we've started making good connections with some drug companies who have sponsored our walk - but things were starting to look pretty grim. New reps were strolling in, who we didn't know, we were having trouble contacting others, and we were getting rejected by a few in the process.

Things were looking bad.

To top it off, one of our big entertainment features of the walk (the bouncy castle for kids) was sold to an out of town business and while they are willing to come and set up and work at our walk, the fees just went up almost $200.

Then there's the face painter we've used every year. This woman goes beyond face painting and is a freakin' ARTIST. She just informed she having bunion surgery on both feet come the middle of April and will be in leg casts for two months. She's unsure how mobile she'll be but will call me back in May to let me know if she can do it or not. That's leaving things a little late for me - in case she can't do it ... then what?

So, we were all down in the dumps.

Then the drug company BAYER stepped up and said "Here's $250 for your walk." Then another "annonymous" drug company stepped up and said "Here's another $250 for your walk." Ok, we're up to $500 - that's good (we need about a $1500 turnover for our walk each year ..... talk about tight budgeting huh?).

Then the biggie came yesterday.

Aventis (another drug company) phoned me and said they'd like to give us $1000 for our walk this year. OH.MY.GOD. I almost cried. That donation alone just put us to our goal - all donations after this will go to the JDRF. I was so excited I was trying to phone everyone on our committee to let them know .... and no one was home!!! ARGH. So I phoned my husband at work - I was bursting at the seams.

Then I got another email from one of our committee members. A local business is giving us another $250 sponsorship. Honestly, after having that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach for awhile there, this is heaven.

We've also secured our first ever BBQ fundraiser on the May long weekend for the JDRF. So we're pumped for that. I've contacted the local radio station to see if their "cruiser" could come out to it and put some exposure on the radio for us on the big day.

I think things are starting to fall into place.

Except the entertainment. Must get my ass in gear on that one.

We've also desperately been trying to get tickets for the Jonas Brothers concert that is in Winnipeg on July 5th. I've been told they go on sale officially on March 27th and they estimate they'll sell out in 4 minutes.

Nick Jonas has Type 1.

I'd LOVE to be able to auction off a pair of tickets to that concert at our walk (it would bring tons of more people out to it - raising more awareness in the process). BUT, try contacting people for a donation of tickets is pretty much futile as we're discovering. And what are the chances we'll be able to actually purchase a pair if they are going to sell out in 4 minutes???

Totally sucks ass. It'll all go to charity, but people are hanging on to those tickets like grim death. *sigh*

Well, that's it for now I suppose. I'm sure I'll be updating on this as the months fly by.

Addiction

I feel like a kid.

A kid with a problem.

You see, there are a couple of Nintendo DS's kicking around the house, and the latest purchase of the Super Mario DS 64 game has had me attached to that thing more than I care to admit.

What's going on??

That game has sucked me into the depths of secret worlds where Mario, Yoshi and Luigi are trying to rescue Princess Peach. And dammit, I cannot, for the life of me, figure out how to rescue Wario. I chase bunnies for keys to unlock games, I play games to get stars, I try to defeat Bowser to get keys to open doors to new worlds (or in this case, paintings you jump into).

Good God, I've been sucked in bad.

It's even seeped into my dreams.

Last night I dreamt I had to chase the dood who hit my van a month ago through these paintings to get his email address (contact info) for some reason.

Talk about losing your marbles.

This could also be a sign it's time to put the stinkin' game down and walk away. (or not play it before I go to bed?)

Who said Nintendo DS's are just for kids?

*disclaimer* I realize that I've just revealed my inner child in this post - do not judge me on this one, please! I just need help .......... (finding Wario, that is ....).

My big kids.

My kids are growing up so fast. Sometimes I have to stop and take a breather and realize that I no longer have "babies" in the house. In fact, we're quickly coming upon the last breath of preschoolerdom in this household and, well, holy crap where did the time go?

I think back to when I was holding my itty-bitty Brooke in my arms. My premature baby girl who made her early entrance into this world - which caused us stress and worry the first week of her life (which we quickly learned this kid was NOT going to give her doctors any problems and promptly grew and grew with only a one month hospital stay). Now, she's over half way through Grade 1, is 7 years old and is a generally happy, VERY chatty girl. She has a great sense of humour that one - well, I think she does - mainly because her humour is much like mine (Mom's bad influences and all). Fart jokes are a hit around here, and we all laugh. She knows how far she can get with rude behaviour before being punished and can push her sisters buttons like you wouldn't believe. She's actually quite bossy with her little sister (tries to play the Mommy role a lot), but I call her on it when I catch her at it and she stops. Otherwise, she plays very well with her little sister and from what I see and hear, she gets along very well with her peers at school.

It's just at some times, you wish you could stop the clock and keep them little for a time longer.

Danielle is my baby, and I have been guilty of treating her as such from time to time. This kid gets away with more than she should at times - and at these times, I should be the one getting punished. I stop myself when I catch myself at it. I wonder if all parents do this?

Danielle will be entering Kindergarten this coming Fall and is ready to start .... well, yesterday. The curse of being born on December 31st I suppose. We could have sent her last fall, but decided against better judgement to hold her back. I believe we made the best decision as she will be ahead of the game this way (better to be ahead than behind in my mind). She's smart as a whip, this one is and doesn't let a whole lot get her down. Having Type 1 Diabetes bugs her - some days she wishes it would go away (and I wish like hell I could do that for her) but out of the two kids, she's the stronger one of the two to deal with this I think. I just hope we do a good job raising her to take good care of herself. It's so hard.

We're coming up to the JDRF walk in June and we're involved up to our eyeballs this year again. I moan and groan about it, but I do it for my kid - and I always will. It's just a lot of work - especially when you have less than 10 people running the show, and a few of them are not available a good portion of the time to come to meetings and such.

This year, myself and one other member of the committe have taken it upon ourselves to approach Canadian CFL and NHL teams for items to auction off at our walk. We also included a celebrity here and there to see what would happen. Well, so far we've been rejected by the Montreal Canadiens, Calgary Stampeders, Edmonton Oilers, Saskatchewan Roughriders ..... it's not looking good right now. BUT, country singer George Canyon (who married a girl from my home town that I went to school with) sent us a couple of autographed things (he's also Type 1) and I hummed and hawed about sending off a letter to former NHL player Bobby Clarke (also from my home town - grew up with my Mom and my Uncle). I figured "what the hell" - I'll send him a letter and name drop like there's no tomorow .... shit, we grew up in the same home town, what do I have to lose?

Apparently he's quite private about his Type 1 (yes, he has it too) and doesn't give much to the JDRF (or hasn't in the past), so when a package for us arrived at the Winnipeg office from him, they were so excited they had to phone me to tell me the big news. He sent us an autographed photo (framed ... which broke during shipping .... ugh, so will have to replace that) and an autographed Flyers puck. Woo!

Hoping some more good stuff comes our way - we REALLY REALLY need it this year.

I could go on and on about that, but will save that for another boring post.

Just wish the kids would slow down in their growing ..... no more babies anymore!!

In Which I Should Be Doing Other Things .....

Here I sit - blogging - when I should be at the gym.

Losing weight stinks. Putting it on seems to be no big problem for me (unfortunately) but losing ... ugh. *sigh* The problem here is .... I detest exercise. I've yet to find something that I really like to do. Something that is fun for me and I don't mind getting off my fat ass and doing.

Cutting back on what I eat is one thing - but the exercising thing ...... not so good.

Blah.

I changed the look of my blog - it's frilly, girly and really not me, but it's fun. What the hell. I'm the only one that reads this crapola anyway.

I just joined a book club today as well. Can I read a novel/month? That's a good question. I should be able to - if it's a good one, I should be able to digest it in days, but if it sucks ass? I doubt I'll be able to get through it. The first book I'm supposed to read is The Last Lecture. At least this is one book I have actually wanted to read for awhile.

The phone just rang.

I just got suckered into selling Daffodils for the Cancer Society on the 21st at the mall for 2 hrs. (well, "suckered" isn't really the word I'm looking for) - I just do soooooooo much for the JDRF, that this is an extra task I wasn't really looking for, but I'll do it - and drag my 7 yr old with me (won't hurt her to do it either).

On to other things I suppose ......

Later.

Competitive Mom?

My kids just finished up a weekend taking part in the local "Festival of the Arts".

Both my girls are in dance - Brooke has been doing it for4 1/2 years now, Danielle is in her second year.

Each year their studio director enters them into this festival where they are adjudicated and they dance/compete against other dance schools from within the city and outside of town (rural centres).

This is really the only time we get to see where our kids stack up with regard to learning their "shit" - it's when we see others the same age, in the same categories, doing the same thing.

Well, this year our dance school didn't fare so well. In fact, in the Winners Showcase on Sunday (which is a culmination of the judges "favourites") only three acts were from our school, the rest were (and the majority at that) from other schools - one in particular.

Some of the parents who take their kids to our kids dance school have asked, in the past, to "pump it up" a bit as far as teaching their kids dance. And after speaking to other parents, we all seem to be on the same page about this.

On the off chance that I'm coming off as "competitive Mom" here, I surely don't want to be sounding like that (although it does). I really and truly feel that a lot of those kids could be pushed a bit harder in their dance classes - and NOT in a negative fashion either ... in a very, very positive way. I'm not talking drill sargeant action here - but I know that they can do better - we've seen it in the past. I just felt bad for Brooke's group when they walked off the stage and after dancing their little hearts out (to the level in which they were taught -not encouraged further), they were handed one of the lowest marks on the stage. Their sad faces just about broke my heart - they were absolutely no competition for those other girls - who were the same age, in dance for the same amount of time (maybe even less) and doing far better.

There seems to be something wrong.

As for Danielle's group - she just entered them as non-competitive, so it wasn't an issue. And at that age, it really shouldn't be anyway.

I just felt bad - and I know that with more encouragement - they could do better, they have such wonderful potential (there are only 5 of them in that group and they are extremely quick learners).

Oh well, what can you do. You pay for these classes and what do you teach your kids? We tell them that it's OK to not be first every time - that despite their marks they did fantastic and we loved their performance, but they know - they KNOW that everyone else was doing better. How do you make them feel better about that??

I'd hate to switch dance schools at this particular point as she's formed such a bond with the other girls in her group.

Oh well, maybe we'll just wait it out and see how things go next year (which I suspect will be more of a disaster as next year is a "Production Year" for their dance school ---- i.e. they are putting on a major production in the fall and all energies are focused on that instead .... so I'm sure that there will be scrambling after xmas).

Maybe I am competitive Mom. (everyone wants to see their kid kick ass in the thing they love to do)

Flake.

I'm a flake.

Here I am - AGAIN - blogging.

I do it, I quit, I do it, I quit. What, is this like my third freakin' blog I've started in the past four years??

Something like that.

There's something about it I guess - I keep getting sucked back in to doing it.

It's not like I HAVE to - it's because there's something about it that I actually like and I miss when I am not doing it.

Sometimes I can go months without a post. I suppose it's at this time I figure I might as well end my blog and be done with it ...... then low and behold, there I sit (like I am now) and I'm at the computer wishing I still had a blog to empty my thoughts on to (which, by the way, are not witty thoughts or anything like that - just piles of "stuff" that feels good to blog about and be on my merry way).

So, on this fucking cold March day (damn, it's March already and it's fucking cold out - where the hell is spring????), I start, yet again, another blog.

Let's see how long this flake can keep this one going ........