Competitive Mom?

My kids just finished up a weekend taking part in the local "Festival of the Arts".

Both my girls are in dance - Brooke has been doing it for4 1/2 years now, Danielle is in her second year.

Each year their studio director enters them into this festival where they are adjudicated and they dance/compete against other dance schools from within the city and outside of town (rural centres).

This is really the only time we get to see where our kids stack up with regard to learning their "shit" - it's when we see others the same age, in the same categories, doing the same thing.

Well, this year our dance school didn't fare so well. In fact, in the Winners Showcase on Sunday (which is a culmination of the judges "favourites") only three acts were from our school, the rest were (and the majority at that) from other schools - one in particular.

Some of the parents who take their kids to our kids dance school have asked, in the past, to "pump it up" a bit as far as teaching their kids dance. And after speaking to other parents, we all seem to be on the same page about this.

On the off chance that I'm coming off as "competitive Mom" here, I surely don't want to be sounding like that (although it does). I really and truly feel that a lot of those kids could be pushed a bit harder in their dance classes - and NOT in a negative fashion either ... in a very, very positive way. I'm not talking drill sargeant action here - but I know that they can do better - we've seen it in the past. I just felt bad for Brooke's group when they walked off the stage and after dancing their little hearts out (to the level in which they were taught -not encouraged further), they were handed one of the lowest marks on the stage. Their sad faces just about broke my heart - they were absolutely no competition for those other girls - who were the same age, in dance for the same amount of time (maybe even less) and doing far better.

There seems to be something wrong.

As for Danielle's group - she just entered them as non-competitive, so it wasn't an issue. And at that age, it really shouldn't be anyway.

I just felt bad - and I know that with more encouragement - they could do better, they have such wonderful potential (there are only 5 of them in that group and they are extremely quick learners).

Oh well, what can you do. You pay for these classes and what do you teach your kids? We tell them that it's OK to not be first every time - that despite their marks they did fantastic and we loved their performance, but they know - they KNOW that everyone else was doing better. How do you make them feel better about that??

I'd hate to switch dance schools at this particular point as she's formed such a bond with the other girls in her group.

Oh well, maybe we'll just wait it out and see how things go next year (which I suspect will be more of a disaster as next year is a "Production Year" for their dance school ---- i.e. they are putting on a major production in the fall and all energies are focused on that instead .... so I'm sure that there will be scrambling after xmas).

Maybe I am competitive Mom. (everyone wants to see their kid kick ass in the thing they love to do)